How to Say Sorry in Chinese: 对不起 vs 不好意思 vs 抱歉 (& Excuse Me)

Q: How do you say sorry in Chinese?

The dictionary word for sorry in Chinese is 对不起 (duìbuqǐ), used for genuine apologies when you have really wronged someone. For small, everyday slips — bumping into someone, being a little late, squeezing past — native speakers far more often say 不好意思 (bù hǎoyìsi, literally 'embarrassed'). In business and writing, 抱歉 (bàoqiàn) is the formal choice. Using 对不起 for tiny things can sound overly heavy.

Q: What is the difference between 对不起, 不好意思, and 抱歉?

对不起 (duìbuqǐ) is a sincere, weighty apology for an actual wrong — 'I'm sorry, I was in the wrong'. 不好意思 (bù hǎoyìsi) is light and based on embarrassment, not fault; it covers minor social friction and doubles as 'excuse me'. 抱歉 (bàoqiàn) means 'to hold regret' and is more formal and written — the go-to for business emails, announcements and notices. Rough scale of weight: 不好意思 < 抱歉 < 对不起.

Q: How do you pronounce 对不起 (duìbuqǐ)?

对不起 is pronounced duì-bu-qǐ. 对 (duì) is fourth tone, falling, like 'dway'. The middle 不 (bu) is unstressed and toneless here — say it lightly and quickly. 起 (qǐ) is third tone, dipping, like 'chee'. Altogether: 'dway-bu-CHEE', roughly like the English 'doe-boo-chee' said briskly.

Q: How do you say 'excuse me' in Chinese?

It depends on what you want. To get someone's attention (a waiter, a stranger), say 不好意思 (bù hǎoyìsi) or the polite 请问 (qǐngwèn, 'may I ask'). To apologize for interrupting, 打扰一下 (dǎrǎo yíxià, 'sorry to bother you'). To get past people in a crowd, say 借过 (jièguò, 'let me through') or 让一下 (ràng yíxià, 'please move aside'). In northern China, 劳驾 (láojià) politely means 'excuse me / may I trouble you'.

Q: Is 对不起 too strong for small mistakes?

Often, yes. Chinese apologies for minor things lean on embarrassment (不好意思) rather than fault (对不起). If you bump someone on the subway or need to squeeze past, a native speaker says 不好意思, not 对不起 — the latter can sound dramatic or overly guilty for something trivial. Save 对不起 for when you have genuinely let someone down.

Q: How do you respond to an apology in Chinese?

The standard reply is 没关系 (méi guānxi, 'it doesn't matter / no worries'). You can also say 没事 (méi shì) or 没事儿 (méi shìr, 'it's nothing'), 不要紧 (bú yàojǐn, 'it's not serious'), or 别放在心上 (bié fàng zài xīnshàng, 'don't take it to heart'). For a light 不好意思, a simple 没关系 or 不用 (búyòng, 'no need') is plenty.

Q: How do you say 'it's my fault' or 'I was wrong' in Chinese?

Say 我错了 (wǒ cuò le, 'I was wrong / my bad') to admit fault — it's common and natural between friends, couples and family. To be explicit, 是我的错 (shì wǒ de cuò, 'it's my fault'). For a formal apology, 我向你道歉 (wǒ xiàng nǐ dàoqiàn, 'I apologize to you') or 请原谅 (qǐng yuánliàng, 'please forgive me').

Quick answer: The textbook word for sorry is 对不起 (duìbuqǐ), but it's a real, weighty apology. For everyday slips — bumping someone, getting attention, being a little late — natives say the lighter 不好意思 (bù hǎoyìsi, “embarrassed”) far more often, and business Chinese uses 抱歉 (bàoqiàn). Pick by weight: 不好意思 < 抱歉 < 对不起.

对不起 vs 不好意思 vs 抱歉 — the Difference That Matters

These three are not interchangeable. The key isn't politeness — it's weight and why you're apologizing:

Phrase	Pinyin	Literally	Weight	Use it for
不好意思	bù hǎoyìsi	“not good feeling” (embarrassed)	Light	Minor friction: bumping someone, getting attention, a small delay, declining — and “excuse me”
抱歉	bàoqiàn	“to hold regret”	Medium / formal	Business, emails, announcements, written notices, professional regret
对不起	duìbuqǐ	“cannot face you”	Heavy	A real wrong — you hurt or let someone down and genuinely mean it

The most common learner mistake is over-using 对不起. Because textbooks teach it as “sorry,” students say it when they step on a foot or ask a question — but to a native ear that can sound dramatic, as if you'd done something serious. For those moments, reach for 不好意思.

对不起 (duìbuqǐ) — Word by Word

Character	Pinyin	Tone	Meaning
对	duì	4th (sharp fall)	to face / toward
不	bu	neutral (unstressed)	not
起	qǐ	3rd (dip)	to rise / be able to

Literally 对不起 means “cannot face (you)” — the image is that you've wronged someone so badly you can't bear to look them in the eye. That built-in guilt is exactly why it carries real weight. The middle 不 is unstressed here (say it light and quick), and 起 dips into third tone: duì-bu-qǐ. Hear each syllable in the Interactive Pinyin Chart.

不好意思 — the Everyday Workhorse

If you learn only one phrase from this page, make it 不好意思 (bù hǎoyìsi). It comes from being embarrassed rather than being at fault, which makes it the perfect social lubricant. Chinese speakers use it constantly:

Bumping or squeezing past: 不好意思！(“Sorry! / Oops!”)
Getting attention: 不好意思，请问洗手间在哪里？(“Excuse me, where's the restroom?”)
Being slightly late: 不好意思，我来晚了。(“Sorry, I'm late.”)
Declining or asking a favor: 不好意思，麻烦你了。(“Sorry to trouble you.”)
Feeling shy/flattered: 真不好意思 can also just mean “aw, you shouldn't have.”

It is polite, warm, and low-stakes — nothing like admitting you did something wrong.

抱歉 — the Formal One

抱歉 (bàoqiàn), “to hold regret,” sits between the two in weight and leans formal and written. You'll see it in business emails, service announcements, and public notices: 很抱歉 (hěn bàoqiàn, “we sincerely apologize”), 抱歉给您带来不便 (bàoqiàn gěi nín dài lái búbiàn, “sorry for the inconvenience”). Spoken, it sounds a touch more composed and professional than a heartfelt 对不起 — think “my apologies” rather than “I'm so sorry.”

“Excuse Me” Is a Different Problem

English uses one “excuse me” for everything; Chinese splits it by purpose — getting attention vs getting past:

Situation	Chinese	Pinyin	Meaning
Getting attention (waiter, stranger)	不好意思	bù hǎoyìsi	Excuse me…
Polite lead-in to a question	请问	qǐngwèn	Excuse me, may I ask…
Sorry to interrupt / bother	打扰一下	dǎrǎo yíxià	Sorry to disturb you
Getting past in a crowd	借过（一下）	jièguò (yíxià)	Coming through / let me pass
Asking someone to move aside	让一下	ràng yíxià	Please move over a bit
Polite “may I trouble you” (esp. N. China)	劳驾	láojià	Excuse me / pardon me

More Ways to Apologize (Light to Heartfelt)

Chinese	Pinyin	English	Register / use
不好意思	bù hǎoyìsi	My bad / excuse me	Light, everyday
我错了	wǒ cuò le	I was wrong / my bad	Admitting fault — friends, couples, family
是我的错	shì wǒ de cuò	It's my fault	Taking responsibility
抱歉	bàoqiàn	Apologies	Neutral-formal, spoken & written
很抱歉	hěn bàoqiàn	I'm very sorry	Formal, business
对不起	duìbuqǐ	I'm sorry	Sincere, real apology
真的很对不起	zhēn de hěn duìbuqǐ	I'm truly sorry	Heartfelt, emphatic
请原谅（我）	qǐng yuánliàng (wǒ)	Please forgive me	Serious, formal
我向你道歉	wǒ xiàng nǐ dàoqiàn	I apologize to you	Formal, explicit apology
让您久等了	ràng nín jiǔ děng le	Sorry to keep you waiting	Polite — service, meetings

How to Accept an Apology

They say…	You reply	Pinyin	Meaning
对不起	没关系	méi guānxi	It's okay / no worries
对不起	没事（儿）	méi shì(r)	It's nothing
不好意思	不用 / 没关系	búyòng / méi guānxi	No need / it's fine
(something more serious)	不要紧	bú yàojǐn	It's not serious
(waving it off warmly)	别放在心上	bié fàng zài xīnshàng	Don't take it to heart

没关系 (méi guānxi, literally “no relation / it doesn't connect to anything”) is the all-purpose reply — the “no worries” of Chinese. Repeat it for warmth: 没关系，没关系。

How to Pronounce Them

Phrase	Pinyin	Tones	Sounds roughly like
对不起	duìbuqǐ	4 – neutral – 3	“dway-bu-chee”
不好意思	bù hǎoyìsi	4 – 3 – 4 – neutral	“boo-how-yee-suh”
抱歉	bàoqiàn	4 – 4	“bow-chyen” (bow = take a bow)
没关系	méi guānxi	2 – 1 – neutral	“may-gwan-shee”
借过	jièguò	4 – 4	“jyeh-gwaw”

One tone-change note: 不 is normally fourth tone (bù), but before another fourth tone it shifts to second tone — so 不要紧 is bú yàojǐn and 不用 is búyòng. In 不好意思, 好 is third tone, so 不 keeps its fourth tone (bù). Practice full apologies in our English to Chinese Translator.

Sorry, Chinese-Style: Embarrassment vs Fault

The big cultural takeaway: Chinese apologies for everyday life run on embarrassment (不好意思), while a fault-based “I'm sorry” (对不起) is reserved for things that genuinely matter. Among close family and friends, a formal 对不起 can even feel distant — a quiet 我错了 (“I was wrong”) or simply making things right often says more than the word itself. And in professional settings, the composed 抱歉 / 很抱歉 does the work. Match the phrase to the weight of the moment and you'll sound natural, not textbook.

Usage tip: bumped someone or need their attention? 不好意思. Writing a business email or apologizing at work? 抱歉 / 很抱歉. Genuinely hurt someone? 对不起 — and mean it. Getting through a crowd? 借过. And whatever they say to you, 没关系 is the friendly reply.

Hear every tone above in the Interactive Pinyin Chart, build full sentences in our English to Chinese Translator, and round out your basics with How to Say Thank You in Chinese and How to Say Hello in Chinese.

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