学会说“不”
很长一段时间，我不会说“不”。
For a long time I couldn't say no.
同事让我帮忙，我答应；朋友借钱，我答应；周末有活动，我也答应。
A colleague asked for help, I agreed; a friend wanted to borrow money, I agreed; something was on at the weekend, I agreed to that too.
我以为这样大家会喜欢我。
I thought people would like me for it.
后来我发现，事情并不是这样。
Later I found that wasn't how it worked.
答应得越多，别人越觉得那是应该的。
The more I agreed to, the more it was simply expected.
有一次，我已经很累了，同事又让我帮他做一份报告。
Once, when I was already exhausted, a colleague asked me to do a report for him.
我犹豫了很久，最后还是答应了。
I hesitated a long time, and agreed anyway.
那天我做到夜里一点。
I worked until one in the morning that night.
第二天他连谢谢都没说。
The next day he didn't even say thank you.
那一刻我忽然明白：不懂得拒绝的人，时间是不值钱的。
In that moment I understood: for someone who can't refuse, their time is worth nothing.
现在我学会了一种说法：“这件事我帮不了，不过你可以试试……”
I've since learned a way to put it: "I can't help with this one, but you could try…"
刚开始说的时候，我心里很不舒服。
The first few times I said it, it felt awful.
可是奇怪的是，没有一个人因此不理我。
But oddly enough, not a single person stopped speaking to me.
我这才知道，真正尊重你的人，不会因为一次拒绝就离开。
That was when I learned that people who genuinely respect you don't leave over one refusal.